Resilience in the Face of Prejudice: A Reminder on My Father’s Birthday
This weekend, I had a memorable experience while finishing a day of golf with my two good friends. After a pleasant 18 holes, the three of us, all African American men, decided to stop at a local pub for a beer and a bite to eat before heading home. The golf course was in a remote area away from the city, and the pub had a white working-class ambiance with country music playing and patrons enjoying their beers at the bar.
The waiter at the pub was gracious and friendly, and we engaged in pleasant conversation with him and several other patrons. However, the atmosphere took an unsettling turn when an intoxicated patron made a joke to his white friends at the bar, “Did you hear the joke about the three black guys who came into the bar?” The remark was made loudly enough for two of us to hear the comment directly. We couldn’t help but interpret the joke as a reference to us, and it felt like there might be some ulterior motive behind it.
Thankfully, the waiter didn’t let the comment slide. He showed tremendous courage by confronting the man and firmly stating that such commentary was not appropriate in their establishment. He even asked the patron to apologize to us and took further action by discounting our purchases as a response to the inappropriate joke. The person did apologize, but the incident left us pondering the dynamics and context of what had happened.
The event triggered a strong emotional reaction within me, though I kept it to myself. It reminded me of the racism and intimidation my father faced, especially when my family was the first to integrate an all-white high school. My younger brother, being the first to attend, endured significant harassment and racism during that first year. Our family received death threats and even faced the threat of having a cross burned in our yard by the Klan. Despite all this, my brother stood firm, showing incredible resolve and courage in the face of hatred.
The incident at the pub served as a reminder that hate still exists in society, but it also reminded me of the power of good and decent people to make a difference. It was a poignant coincidence that this weekend, we also celebrated what would have been my father’s 100th birthday. He passed away in 1984, but his strength and resilience continue to inspire me.
My father, along with my courageous brother, faced adversity with unwavering determination, refusing to be bullied or intimidated. The incident at the pub showed that although some things may change over time, the struggle against racism and bigotry is an ongoing battle.
I am grateful for the response of the establishment and the waiter’s quick action to address the inappropriate joke. It reassured me that there are still good people who stand against racism and discrimination, just like my father and brother did all those years ago.
As I celebrated my father’s birthday in my heart, I couldn’t help but think that his legacy lives on through the lessons he taught us — to stand firm in the face of hate, to seek justice, and to be part of the change we wish to see in the world. This incident may have been a harsh reminder of the challenges black individuals continue to face in America, but it also served as a testament to the resilience and courage that runs in my family’s veins.
Happy Birthday, Dad! Your strength continues to guide us.
Effenus Henderson
